Milo: Back at the turn of the century...

Zack: Really? It starts in 1900?

Milo: No, this century. The year 2000.

Zack: Oh, okay. But I think you backtracked too far; jump ahead.

Milo: A man named Edmond Garner came into a large inheritance.

Melissa: But the inheritance wasn’t money.

What are all these llamas doing here?

Milo: So Garner bought a little theater in town-a little ninety-nine seat place. Anyway, fifteen years later he had a whole string of them. And there was a festival using Garner’s llamas as the cast.

Melissa: There were shows like Hello Dolly Llama, Annie get your Llama, Death of a Sales Llama. Some of the titles were better than others.

Milo: Llamalet? It’s Hamlet, but with llamas. Well I guess that quote says it all.

Melissa: I always confuse camels and llamas. Are llamas furry? Or is their skin like a briefcase?

Milo: Furry. Neither is like a briefcase.

Melissa: I wonder what I’m thinking of.

Milo: A briefcase?

Melissa: That’s it!

Melissa: So, we’re at Garner’s theater. All things considered, the play was going pretty well. Hamlet had just asked for forgiveness but Larity wasn’t having any part of it, I think.

And I thought it was hard to understand Shakespeare in human.

That’s right about when Murphy’s Law kicked in.

Milo: My backpack! Stop that llama!

Polar bear: (roar)

And, I got my backpack back.

Zack: Hold on, hold on. What's with the polar bear? And how did you get from the glacier to the football game?

Milo: Well, we couldn’t just leave those llamas out on the ice-berg. So, I used my tee-shirt cannon to shoot knock-out gas at the polar bear, which we used to frighten the llamas and…ourselves. From there, it was a simple dogsled, seaplane, and public bus system back to town.

Okay, mission accomplished. Now all we have to do is get these thespians to their respective theaters. But they seemed confused and unmotivated.

Melissa: How do you motivate a llama?

Milo: Well, we could lure them with pistachios.

Melissa: Pistachios?

Milo: Don’t you know llamas love pistachios?

Melissa: You’re asking me? I thought they had skin like a briefcase!

Vinnie Dakota: Who knew pistachio gelatin was so heavy?

Balthazar Cavendish: Who knew pistachio gelatin existed?

Milo: I could have sworn I had pistachios in here somewhere. Hey I found them. Oh, that works too.

Melissa: Milo, what do I do?

Milo: If I were you I’d probably RUN!

Zack: So, then you went to the football game?

Milo: Let’s see. Hamlet, ballet, graduation, beauty salon, cargo ship, glacier, bus, pistachio gelatin, giant spool of wire.

Zack: Giant spool of wire?

Milo: Oh, right. Got ahead of myself so Melissa ran straight in the football field, with the llamas hot on her heels.


Milo: She’s with me!

Then who are the llamas with?

Referee: Your hooves are hard and leathery like a briefcase.

That’s right, bring it up here. Here you go one drum of cable.

No, I said one drum for Mabel. She left hers at home.

Oh I get it. Drum of cable, drum for Mabel. Wow is my face red. But, why would you need a big drum of cable? And it was a lot of effort of getting it up all these stairs.

Milo: This went on for several hours. And... Wait, what's that noise?

Melissa: Shoo! Stop that.

Milo: Go away, woodpecker.

Zack: Maybe we can distract him. What do woodpeckers like to eat?

Milo: Uh. Branches.

Melissa: Pistachio trees.

Yes but the pistachio bera is a very sturdy wood. That should leave me enough time to tell you about the seatbelts.

Zack: Keep Going.

Milo: Anyway, Melissa was getting pretty tired of running from llamas.

Melissa: Milo? A little help here? I’m about to be llama chow.

Milo: I’ve got it, seatbelts.

Melissa: Whatever you’re doing, do it better!

Milo: Melissa, grab the seatbelt!

Melissa: Milo, this isn’t working.

Cheerleader: Oh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to throw it that high. I was just startled by all these llamas.

Melissa: Milo, I can’t do this much longer! What’s the plan?

Milo: Not sure, but I’m working on it.

Tiger: Why are there all these llamas at the football game?

Milo: And that’s basically it – the llama story. The end.

Zack: The end? What do you mean? She's about to fall into stampeding llamas.That's how we started.

Milo: Oh, well, you know she go down because she's right here.

Zack: By that logic, the only stories you would ever wanna hear would be told by dead people. Just tell me how she got down.

Milo: Okay.

Diogee: (barks)

Milo: Melissa, I just remembered that Diogee is one quarter llama dog.

Melissa: What does that even mean?

Milo: He herds llamas like a sheep dog herds sheep.

Melissa: I’ve never seen him do that.

Milo: Oh, yeah. It just doesn’t come up very often. Perrito, ¡arear las llamas! ¡Arear las...!

Zack: Wait! Since when do you know Spanish?

Milo: Well....

Spanish Class

Teacher: Buenos dias, clase.

Students: Buenos dias.


Zack: Okay, okay, but how's Diogee know Spanish?

Milo: Well....

Spanish Class

Teacher: Buenos dias, clase.

Students: Buenos dias.

Diogee: (Bark)


Zack: Just finish the llama story!

Milo: Okay.

Milo: Diogee, ¡arear las llamas!

Good boy. Now jump!

No, I meant Melissa. But you’re right, that was ambiguous.

Melissa, jump!

Melissa: Are you sure?

Milo: Trust me!

Melissa: Oh, they’re so soft. They’re not like a briefcase at all.

Milo: I know. Right?

And that was the llama incident.

Zack: Wow, no wonder you made such a big deal about that story.

Melissa: Yeah, it was legendary.

Zack: Guys, I got it. Seatbelts, pistachios, Diogee, llamas, woodpeckers.I know how we can get down.

Melissa: Hurry, the branch is about to....

(All Scream)

Milo: Hey, Mort, how's it going?

Mort: Not great. I just go this job and I already dropped three of these flesh colored bags of red paint. Hope you're having a better day than me.

Milo: We sure are. A few moments ago, we were handing from a cliff.

Mort: Woah. How did you survive?

Zack: Oh. You mean the woodpecker incident.

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