(The scene is a firehouse, where Mr. Chase, Melissa's dad, is washing a fire engine. The water from his hose suddenly starts to turn on and off, coming out in spurts. He looks at it, puzzled. Melissa appears next to him.)
Melissa: Hi, Dad.
(Mr. Chase turns his head and looks at her.)
Mr. Chase: Hi, honey.
(The water in the hose starts building up inside. Mr. Chase looks at it, trying to understand what's wrong.)
Mr. Chase: I can't figure out what's wrong with this...
(The hose bursts and a burst of water soaks Mr. Chase. Melissa looks on, surprised. Mr. Chase realizes what's going on and, with a frown, greets Milo.)
Mr. Chase: (Annoyed) And hello, Milo.
(Camera cuts back to show Milo standing next to Melissa, while Mr. Chase puts the hose back in it's place.)
Milo: (Cheerfully) Hi, Mr. Chase!
Melissa: Dad, we're gonna get some ice cream (Mr. Chase wipes his face with a towel). You wanna go?
(We see Mr. Chase next to the engine.)
Mr. Chase: Well, I'd love to, but I gotta take this baby down to the Fire Truck Museum today.
(Cut to Melissa.)
Melissa: You mean the museum that nobody goes to?
(Back to Mr. Chase.)
Mr. Chase: Well, when kids get a load of Denise here, it should really boost attendance!
(Back to Melissa.)
Melissa: You know, Dad, the Natural History Museum is right across the street and they have a full-size T-Rex.
(Camera moves back to show Milo and Melissa. While Melissa continues talking, Milo is moving excitedly, barely able to restrain himself.)
Melissa: Who's gonna get excited about an antique red truck?
Milo: (Excited) I can't believe it!
(Milo runs to Denise while Mr. Chase looks at Milo, surprised. Milo stops in front of Denise and points at it with both arms wide.)
Milo: Melissa, this is a 1901 Vandervert Douse Master 4! (Starts skipping to the left) This has dozens of unique innovations for fighting fires!
(Camera closes up on Milo as he shows of the wind turbine. Heroic music starts playing.)
Milo: For example, the water tank back here has a wind turbine that spins while you're driving! (Milo demonstrates the process while explaining) That way, when they got there, they'd have enough pressure to shoot the water all the way up to the third story!
(Milo spins the turbine.)
(Cut to Milo on top of Denise, showing a lever.)
Milo: There's a pneumatic secondary braking system on the back...
(Cut to Milo on top of the ladder while Melissa and Mr. Chase look up at him.)
Milo: ...The first ever ladder that was actually attached to the top of a truck...
(Cut to a close up of Milo and the bell.)
Milo: ...And look, the bell has a little string so you can ring it by hand... (Heroic music grinds to a halt, Milo's excitement replaced with awkwardness.) It... I guess that's not as impressive as the rest of it, but over here, (rushes over to show the radio) it has an in-dash radio! And radios weren't even invented yet!
(Cut to Milo walking next to the engine)
Milo: And this truck also has the distinction of being the first ever to have a Dalmatian as a mascot. (Stops next to little compartment for Dalmatians) In fact, they had a little place for him to ride right over here and he...
(Opens compartment, revealing Diogee with spots)
Milo: ...Diogee? How'd you get in there? And where'd you get these spots?
(Cut to Mr. Chase)
Mr. Chase: I'm impressed, Milo. How do you know so much about antique fire engines?
(Cut to Milo sliding from underneath the engine to admire a part of the back of the truck)
Milo: Are you kidding? It was a truck like this that saved my grandfather after he accidentally ate all those balloons!
(Cut to Melissa walking up to Mr. Chase and then walking alongside the engine)
Melissa: Well, Dad, since Milo's so excited about it, I guess we'll ride down with you.
(Mr. Chase follows her, worried)
Mr. Chase: (Hesitant) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know about Milo.
(Melissa stops in front of her dad)
Melissa: What do you mean?
(Cut to close up of Mr. Chase)
Mr. Chase: Well, the museum is filled with breakable antiques...
(Cut to close up of Melissa)
Melissa: Come on, Dad, he's such a fan. It means so much to him! Apparently.
(Cut to Mr. Chase and Melissa)
Mr. Chase: Oh... Okay. Whaddaya say, Milo?
(Camera moves back to show Milo at the drivers seat, pretending that he's driving)
Milo: (Makes siren sound and rings bell) Yeah, where's that fire? It's out there, buddy! (Makes another siren sound) Wait, hey, Mr. Chase, can I drive?
Mr. Chase: (Annoyed) No.
Dakota: Well, we got the pistachios, now what?
(Camera moves closer to the two)
Cavendish: Well, we then have to get them to the safe house, which should be easy once we locate our new vehicle. It's supposed to be parked right out here somewhere...
Dakota: (Upbeat) Oh, a new vehicle! We're coming up in the world!
Cavendish: It's about time, too, considering what they gave us last time.
Dakota: I hope it's fast!
Cavendish: (Slightly cheerful) I hope it's red! Let's see now...
(Pulls out and uses beeper to locate the car. It beeps a few times an the camera moves to reveal a tandem bicycle. Cavendish groans.)
Dakota: Well, it is red.
Cavendish: It's like they're going out of their way to humiliate us!
Dakota: Aw, come on, it's a tandem! It's like a bike, riding another bike!
(Cavendish is still annoyed.)
(We return to see Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase (L-R) in Denise. Milo and Melissa strap in, then Mr. Chase straps in.)
Mr. Chase: All righty.
(Camera moves back to show traffic and Denise about to go into the road.)
Mr. Chase: So, we wait till traffic clears, look left, (Camera moves closer to show Mr. Chase demonstrating) then right, then, then! We look left again, and safely pull out into traffic.
(Camera moves back again to show Denise pulling into traffic, then closes up to Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase.)
Milo: Why is he narrating?
Melissa: (Slightly annoyed) He's laying down the foundations for when I learn —
Mr. Chase: (From Melissa's "foundations" above, talks at the same time) I'm laying down a foundation for when she learns to drive.
Mr. Chase: Signalling.
Milo: (Excited) Oh, this is very exciting!
Mr. Chase: Milo, check out the wind turbine.
(Camera shows wind turbine moving)
Milo: Wowee! Look at her go!
(Cut back to Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase in Denise)
Mr. Chase: Pretty impressive, huh? And we're only going (Cuts to speedometer) one eighth of a furlong per jiffy.
(Cut back to Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase)
Melissa: (After calculating) That's only 17 miles an hour.
Mr. Chase: Yeah, but back then they thought if you went any faster than 35, your lungs would collapse.
Melissa: (Scoffs) That's ridiculous!
Milo: Well, we can really test that theory on this hill! (Points at hill)
(Dramatic sting plays as the drop is shown and we then see Denise plummet down the steep road. Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase scream, and the truck goes down so fast that it becomes a blur. Cut back to Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase)
Mr. Chase: (Trying to stop the truck) Okay, well I'm gently applying the brake!
(Mr. Chase's foot breaks through, sending the brake and other parts flying back up. Milo sees this. Elliot screams off-screen.)
Milo: (Shouting) Sorry, Elliot!
(Cut to Mr. Chase and Melissa. Mr. Chase continues to narrate while Melissa, who looked worried, is now annoyed at her father)
Mr. Chase: Now I am trying to extricate my foot from the floorboards.
Melissa: Dad, you can stop narrating now.
Milo: Maybe we can radio for help. (Takes up the earpiece and the microphone of the radio) Hello? Hello? This is Milo Murphy. We're on a runaway Douse Master 4. And we just went over Harding Hill!
(Cut to an old-timey Fire Station, where an elderly man, Gus, is answering Milo.)
Gus: Jumpin' bullfrogs, your lungs will collapse! (Camera moves back to show old-timey show tune piano) Hold on, young fellow! I know exactly what to do!
(Gus jumps to the piano and starts playing Ragtime music. We cut back to Milo, surprised. Cut back to Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase, the last two looking alarmed.)
Milo: Maybe we should try something else.
(Milo excitedly pulls a switch on the right, which releases a telegraph, with SOS written in bright, red letters on its front. It gets sent back. He then pulls the middle switch, which releases an inflatable raft. Mr. Chase pushes it out, visibly annoyed. We cut back to the Elderly Man, still playing ragtime. Cut back to Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase. Milo pulls the last switch, on the left, which releases a firework that explodes, and with its smoke, writes HELP! Milo then pushes the middle switch back and a canary in a cage appears and flies out, much to Milo's delight. Milo then pushes the left switch back, which releases a group of marionettes. Milo and, to a lesser extent, Melissa, enjoy them, but Mr. Chase flings them out of the way. Milo then pushes the right switch back, which releases a pedestal with Diogee on it, enjoying the ride. He shakes off his spots. Denise is then shown zooming down the road, which causes some pedestrians to run off in fright. They scream.)
(We then cut to Cavendish and Dakota. Dakota is loading the pistachios onto the tandem. Cavendish is still annoyed.)
Dakota: There you go, all set. Hop on!
(Denise bursts in and destroys the Tandem and the Pistachios. Cut to the back of Denise.)
Milo: (Barely visible) Oops! Sorry!
(Cut back to Cavendish and Dakota.)
Cavendish: (Outraged) It's that kid! See? See? I was right! He's done it again! (He and Dakota start running to Denise) He's ruined our mission!
(Cut to Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase in Denise. Mr. Chase seems to have given in to fear, as he just looks at the road in fright. Melissa holds on to him.)
Mr. Chase: Oh, no!
Milo: Hey, how about if I pull that secondary brake back there?
(Milo starts climbing up to the top of Denise.)
Mr. Chase: Wait, Milo! (Cut to Milo pulling the secondary brake) No! Get back here!
(Milo pulls the brake, but it breaks and flings into the right wheel of the water tank. The wheel breaks off. Milo, due to the truck leaning, slams into the side of Denise, leaving him momentarily dazed. The wheel flies OS and the water tank leans into the road. The wind turbine starts scratching the road, causing the pressure meter to point all the way into the red end. As a camera shot shows the truck from a different angle coming at to the left of the screen, the water tanks other wheel comes off, which causes the water tank to drift from Denise. The hose gets pulled with it, but because it's tied to Denise, it starts slowing it down. Camera goes back to Mr. Chase and Melissa, while Milo hangs on to the ladder)
Mr. Chase: Hey, the brake must be working! We're slowing down!
(The water tank continues to tear the road apart. The water pressure goes beyond the red area, and a bolt from the tank hits Milo's ladder, causing it to loosen from its position and land next to where Mr. Chase and Melissa are. The ragtime music stops.)
Mr. Chase: Milo?
Milo: Oh, hey, Mr. Chase!
(Denise finally grinds to a halt next to a diner and a clown supplies tent, the ladder just touching the diner window. Cut to Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase.)
Melissa: I think my lungs just collapsed.
Milo: Well, it's a good thing we stopped before we ran into this rail car diner!
(Milo drops down from the ladder to the road)
Mr. Chase: (Angrily, trying not to shout) Milo, (Close up on his face) You're, like, whatever the opposite of a rabbit's foot is.
(Cut to Milo who's hanging on to the engine's door ledge and Melissa)
Milo: A rabbit's head?
Melissa: A fox's foot?
Milo: A pound of sugar?
(Cut to Milo, who's getting back to his seat; Melissa, looking at her dad; and Mr. Chase, looking at Milo.)
Mr. Chase: No, you're just — (Grunts)
Melissa: Dad! It's just Murphy's law; he can't help it. Besides, he just... (Remembers what Milo said earlier) A pound of sugar? Really?
Milo: I was just riffing.
Melissa: (returns to berating her dad) Besides, he also just saved us by thinking on his feet.
Milo: Actually, I was sitting down when I thought of it, so technically I was thinking on my —
Mr. Chase: If he wasn't here, we wouldn't need saving, sitting or otherwise!
Melissa: All right, be nice, Dad.
Mr. Chase: Does this Murphy's law thin have an off switch?
Milo: I haven't found one yet!
(Cut to Cavendish and Dakota riding their destroyed tandem'.)
Dakota: Look, there they are! They've stopped!
(Cut to the water tank vibrating. Back to Cavendish and Dakota, the wheels of whose tandem have deflated.)
Cavendish: (determined, pointing up to the sky) Quickly, Dakota! The game's afoot!
(Cavendish starts running towards Denise. Dakota stands up and looks at Cavendish.)
Dakota: "The game's afoot"? Really? I don't think anybody says that!
(Cavendish goes back on-screen to reply to Dakota.)
Cavendish: I just said that! (Runs off again)
Dakota: (starts running after him) I know, and it's mystifying me!
(Cavendish and Dakota run towards Denise. The tank expands with pressurized water.)
Dakota: Oh, we better hurry! It looks like that tank's gonna blow!
(The tank rockets forward, carrying Denise, the Clown Supplies tent and the diner, which carries Cavendish and Dakota, who are holding on to one of its entrance pillars. We see Denise being pulled forward in a closer shot and Cavendish and Dakota running on the ground, trying to hold on. Cavendish and Dakota scream. Cut to Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase.)
Mr. Chase: Oh, this chassis was not made for jet propulsion!
Cavendish: (While pulling Dakota up to the Diner's moving entrance) I want to know who he's working for!
(Cut to inside the Diner. A little girl and her father are sitting at a table. The girl, with a plate of vegetables, looks out the window and notices that they're moving. The dad is completely immersed in his newspaper.)
Little Girl Who Won't Eat Her Vegetables: Hey, Dad, we're moving!
Newspaper Reading Dad: (turns page) That's no excuse, you still gotta eat your vegetables.
(Cavendish and Dakota run through)
Cavendish: Coming through!
Cavendish: (off-screen) Pardon!
Dakota: (off-screen) Excuse me, sorry!
(Dakota then goes back to the dad and the little girl. The dad looks up at Dakota when he speaks to him)
Dakota: So, are you gonna finish that?
(Cut to Cavendish climbing up onto the top of Denise. We see the engine heading towards the camera and then turn to screen left, taking down a bunch of signs. The last sign has a wheel of giant corn-dogs, and the wheel breaks off and flies next to Denise before disappearing. Cut to Milo, Melissa and Mr. Chase. Milo looks at it.)
Milo: Now there's something you don't often see, a wheel of giant corn-dogs passing you on the street!
(Melissa addresses her dad while Milo gets pulled up by Cavendish.)
Melissa: Yeah, and we must be going at least five furlongs per jiffy.
(Cut to Milo, Cavendish and, after a second, Dakota, eating the food from earlier, on top of Denise.)
Milo: Oh, hey! It's... It's you two guys, (breathes in) the pistachio guys! How are you?
Cavendish: How we are is none of your concern! Now tell us! Who are you working for? The Black Radish Underground? The Marmoset League?
(The wheel of corn-dogs rolls into a "CAT ADOPTION DAY" event and destroys it, to which cut, as people scream. It flings all the cats there sky-high, and they yowl.)
Milo: Uh-oh. Excuse me! (Runs off to screen right)
Dakota: All right, see you later!
(Milo climbs a ladder and opens an umbrella.)
Cavendish: Don't tell him you'll see him later!
Dakota: What? I'm just being nice!
(The ladder bends under Milo's weight. The cats continue to shriek as they fall. One falls into Milo's umbrella, and he moves it to catch all the other cats. Milo hooks the umbrella onto an overhead wire as Denise passes under it, and it slides into "Happy Ranch Retirement Home".)
Residents of Happy Ranch Retirement Home: Aw!
(Dakota and Cavendish approach the ladder, and Cavendish starts to climb it.)
Dakota: So he's a rogue time agent out to destroy us by saving kittens.
Cavendish: He can do both!
(A cat that looks more than a little like Cavendish lands into Dakota's hands.)
Dakota: Hey, hey, a kitty! (Cavendish turns to face him) Hey, he looks kinda like you.
Cavendish: He does not look like me!
(The cat mews to imitate Cavendish. Cavendish looks askance at it.)
(Cut to the water tank up in the sky. It runs out of pressurized water and lands onto the road. Denise bucks, throwing Cavendish and Dakota off it. Milo jumps after them. The water tank rolls in front of the diner-car and separates it from its roof. Milo, Cavendish, and Dakota bounce onto the roof.)
Girl who won't eat her vegetables: Dad, the roof came off!
Newspaper-reading dad: You still gotta eat your vegetables.
(The tank and the car crash into a fountain, to which cut. The tank is crushed and floats in the pool, while the diner-car' is on top of the fountain.)
Girl who won't eat her vegetables: Dad!
Newspaper-reading dad: Vegetables!
(Cut back to Denise, which is rolling down a hill with the fabric and the roof of the diner-car in tow.)
Mr. Chase: And now we're dragging the top of an old diner.
Milo: Well, that was exciting. Are you guys okay?
Cavendish: Is this a game to you?
Milo: A game? No! I mean, how would you keep score?
(The diner-car's roof bucks, threatening to dump Cavendish and Dakota off it. Dakota exclaims.)
Milo: (as he reaches to grab Cavendish) I got you. There you go. (To Cavendish and Dakota both) Hey, listen: it's gonna get bumpy up ahead, so I'd better drop you guys off at Palm Lake Park. (Goes off)
Dakota: Okay, you take care now.
Cavendish: Don't tell him to take care!
Dakota: I am just being nice!
(Milo succeeds in dislodging the fabric from the diner-car's roof, which slides out of view.)
Milo: There you go! Have a nice afternoon!
(The roof slides into a park and hydroplanes on a pond until it stops. Cavendish and Dakota scream all the way.)
Dakota: That Murphy kid, he saved us! He's like, he's like a hero!
Cavendish: He's the villain! I'm the hero.
(The Cavendish-looking cat imitates Cavendish again.)
Dakota: Ah? Ah? See?
(Cut back to Denise, of which Mr. Chase is still struggling to gain control. Milo climbs off the roof and into the cab.)
Milo: Mr. Chase, I've got an idea! If we turn left on Reese, maybe the Natural History Museum steps will slow us down!
Melissa: And maybe we'll get to see that T-Rex!
Mr. Chase: At this point I'm willing to try anything.
(Mr. Chase swerves left as wood dust is expelled from Denise' tires. It runs into the steps, sending standers-by screaming, and crashes through the doors of the museum.)
Mr. Chase: Well, big surprise! We are not slowing down!
(Patrons of the museum run out of Denise' way, panicked. Denise crashes into a dinosaur, and the whole mess slides to a stop in front of the Fire Engine Museum. Several standers-by comment.)
First stander-by: Cool!
Second stander-by: Nice!
Third stander-by: Whoa!
Fourth stander-by: Awesome!
Fifth stander-by: That sculpture is so cool, it makes me want to visit the Fire Truck Museum!
(Standers-by flock into the Fire Engine Museum.)
Sixth stander-by: So, are fire-trucks the reason dinosaurs went extinct?
Seventh stander-by: Let's find out by going inside and paying admission!
Eighth stander-by: I wanna pay too!
Melissa: Hey, we did get to see the T-Rex!
Mr. Chase: Milo, (sad piano music starts) you know, just spending the day with you has given me a new appreciation for —
Milo: Ah, excuse me, Mr. Chase. (Takes up the microphone and earpiece of the on-board radio) Okay, Gus. We're all set at this end; thanks a lot.
(Cut to the theater piano, where it is revealed that Gus is the one playing the sad piano music. It stops, and Gus wheels over to the radio.)
Gus: No problem, sonny!
Milo: (puts down the microphone and earpiece) You were saying?
Mr. Chase: Well, what I was saying is, I think I have a new appreciation for you and your... condition.
Melissa: Well said, Dad.
Mr. Chase: What I mean is, on some level, I think I can relate. Part of my job is fighting an uncontrollable element: fire. All we can do is be prepared, think on our feet, and ride the wave. Not a wave of fire, because those don't actually exist.
Milo: Well, actually, last summer, I —
Melissa: I'd quit while you were ahead, Milo.