♪ It's time for danger, ♪
♪ time for action, ♪
♪ Time for Doctor Zone! ♪
♪ Chronological time is just an abstraction ♪
♪ When you're with Doctor Zone! ♪
♪ He's got one foot in the future, ♪
♪ And one foot in the past ♪
♪ He's got on hand in the present, ♪
♪ Or at least in a gift shaped cast ♪
♪ He's Doctor Zone! ♪
♪ It's time for Doctor Zone! ♪
(The Heart of the Moon 3,679. The Inner Sanctum of the Trashcandroids)
Dr. Zone: All my worrying just wasted time! Let's get back. Quick, to the Time Beehicle. (Doctor Zone and Time Ape make it to the Time Beehicle and get in. Time Ape closes the door on a photo he's carrying and rips it, leaving half of it outside.)
I've got to hit that button. If only I had fingers on my right hand. Ugh! Uah! Dah! Ugk! Ugk! Dah! Ugk! Ugk! Uah! Dah! Ugk! The present is preventing me from getting to the future. They're closing in. Time Ape, do something.
Time Ape: The time is now 1:54 pm.
Dr. Zone: No, you silly simian. Time is relative. The Trashcandroids! No! Ugh! Time Ape press the button. (The Time Beehicle's stinger unleashes a blast that disables the Trashcandroids and the Time Beehicle takes off) Righty crikey and tally ho. Time waits for no man... Except for me!
(The Time Beehicle disappears but a Trashcandroid reaches out and grabs the half a picture Time Ape dropped. It is revealed to show a baby Time Ape. The episode ends with THE END and a question mark.)
♪ It's time for Doctor Zone! ♪
Sara: So. After your first Dr. Zone Files marathon, are you exited about the movie?
Melissa: Exited, and confused. I'm exfused!
Zack: And I'm concited?
Milo: I know it's a lot of information to assimilate, but it's worth it. And Sara got us tickets for today's show.
Sara: I'll just hold on to these little brother, to prevent them from getting, you know, irradiated into particulate matter or something.
Milo: Good idea.
Zack: My hand is asleep. How I envy it.
Melissa: The movie's not starting for hours, right?
Sara: Yeah, but there's going to be a line already.
Milo: It's got fifty years of fans.
Zack: Wait, fifty years! I thought we saw it all last night.
Milo: No, no no no no. No, no no.
Milo: No, no. No, no. No, no. No... no.
Sara: That was just the latetst incarnation. Dr Zone Files: the next regeneration.
Milo: First there was The Zone, then Dr Zone, Professor Zone, and Adjunct Faculty Member Zone, That only lasted a semester. And finally, The Dr Zone Files that you know as of three o'clock this morning.
Sara: We just wanted to make sure you're prepared. Dr Zone fans can be kind of elitist.
Elite #1: More tea?
Elite #2: Yes. Oh dear, what are those people wearing?
Josh: I'm just saying that if you can't actually speak the Trashcandroid's binary language then you have no place in this line.
Dr Zone Fan: Oh, don't be such an elitist Josh.
Sara: Today is going to be my favourite day ever. ...Unless something goes wrong.
Zack: Well we made it to the theatre. What could possibly go wrong.
(Sara has a has a flash back of a train driving over her birthday cake in the backyard. Then of a moment playing mini golf with Milo, where the blades of a model windmill flew off and decapitated a few other models. She then remembers eating ice cream with Milo when a cement truck skids by uncontrollably. The truck passes uneventfully but her ice cream then falls off her cone.)
Sara: Well I have been Milo's sister since he was born.
Zack: Oh, right.
Sara: Which is why we're going in prepared. Nothing is going to ruin this day for me. Exclamation point.
Melissa: She really puts a lot of faith in punctuation.
(Sara checks the surroundings)
Sara: Clear. No sign of any horrible mishap on the horizon.
Milo: Name the alien monster who eat your brain and absorbs your knowledge.
Sara: Cere-broids. Come on, give me a tough one.
(A breeze passes and blows the tickets out of Sara's pocket)
Sara: The tickets! (She lunges after them and grabs them all before they fall into a drain) oof. Oh these are never leaving my hand. Now who knows how to fuse flesh and paper?
Sara: I'm going to go check in with the local weather service about anymore freak breezes. Time for danger!
Milo: Time for action! Time for... Diogee? Aw, sorry, you can't come in with us. But I did get you a ticket for the Pet Theatre next door. They're playing The Dog Door Bone Files.
(Diogee goes into the Pet Theatre and finds a basket from which he can watch The Dog Dorr Bone Files, until a dog sits in front of him, blocking his view.)
Zack: This is crazy.
Melissa: I know. How can he be a time traveller and an alien and a cyborg.
Zack: No no, not that. It's just been really quiet around Milo today.
Milo: Well, that's the thing about Murphy's Law; it's unpredictable.
Sara: I've got the immediate area cordoned off. Now if you could just try not to... do anything, I'll go get my hazard protection suit out of the car. Do. Not. Lose. Our. Place.
Milo: Sara wait, I brought a spare.
Zack:' So is Time Ape an ape with a clock for a head...
Melissa:' ...Or a clock with the body of an ape?
Wally: Ugh! I can't believe you newbies.
Melissa: What does that make you? Oldbies?
Wally: Time Ape isn't a clock or an ape.
'Kris: He's a transchronological being.
Wally: You see, while traveling through the spacetime continuum, Dr Zone was sucked through a rift of spacetime, where he met... another traveller like himself. But since this being was not from our dimension, his appearance would cause any normal person's head to explode. So, for us to comprehend him, the Time Ape took the form that we now know.
Zack: Wait, so you're saying that the from that would be easier for us to comprehend is an ape with a clock for a head?
Wally: Would you want your head to explode? Would you?
Zack: He's right. I'd rather look at an ape with a clock for a head.
Sara: You hear that?
Milo: Yeah, it smells quiet.
Sara: Too quiet. No disaster yet means there's a bigger disaster coming.
Milo: That's not necessarily true but...
Sara: Time to be proactive. Milo, why don't you wait near that really... cool dirt parking lot, and I'll call when it's time to go into the movie. K?
Milo: Or... I could get us some snacks?
Sara: *Gasp* Pistachios! That's Dr Zone's favourite nut! You guys save our place.
Wally: ...Of course that's just a theory but... if you direct your attention to this authoritative guide...
Melissa: The Dr Zone Files Files
Zack: Repetitive redundancy. Nice.
(Zack reaches out to touch the guide but Wally and Kris slap his hand away)
Milo: Great costumes guys!
Sara: One bag of pistachios please.
Cavendish: It's pronounced pistachio.
Dakota: That's how she said it.
Cavendish: Don't speak to the customers.
Dakota: I wasn't speaking to customers. I was speaking to you. You were speaking to customers.
Cavendish: Well one of us has to speak to the customers, but it shouldn't be you.
(A pistachio knocks over a string of things that eventually dump a full bag of pistachios and flaming oil into the broiler of their stand as they speak)
Dakota: O oh. Looks like something got jammed in that broiler.
(The entire stand rockets into the sky leaving all present covered in ash)
Cavendish: You did that.
Dakota: I was just standing here not talking to customers, but wow.
Sara: Maybe that was is Milo. No more catastrophes today.
Milo: Um. Maybe.
Sara: You guys ok? (Dakota and Cavendish are nowhere to be seen) Weird. They just disappeared.
Milo: Or did they...
Milo and Sara: Bum bum buuum!
Sara: The end. Question mark.
Melissa: ...Or Dr Zone's mom knew that like their planet was going to explode.
Melissa: Right. So she wrapped her babies in one of those blankets that babies are always escaping exploding planets in. But the getaway rocket only had room for one baby. So, the other baby was caught in the implosion and sucked into a time vortex that turned him into a transchronological being, who's appearance would make our heads explode.
Zack: So, when he turned into the Time Ape it's because he was already a Time Ape before.
Zack: Oh see, that would make more sense.
Melissa: And therefore, Time Ape would be Dr Zone's brother!
Wally: Now that is ridiculous.
Zack: How was that more ridiculous than your theory.
Wally: If Dr Zone and the Time Ape were brothers, I would have figured it out by now.
(Wally gets into a Zone-Monkey fighting stance)
Melissa: What is he doing?
Zack: I don't know. I'm really tired.
Sara: Hey wow, wow, watch where you're pointing that Zone-Monkey fighting stance.
Kris: These posers don't deserve to be here. Newbies!
(The other fans close in on Zack and Melissa)
Sara: Now just wait a minute. (Sara puts down the tickets and her hazard protection suit and jumps on top of a trash can) Enough! Newbies, oldbies, lend me your ears. (A fan hands her his fake alien ears) Oh. No, not literally. Nobody gets to define the parameters of what it means to be a fan. We're not just fans of fantasy. It's more than that. It's about what fantasy means to each of us. Fantasy means... um...
Milo: (Milo gets on the trash can next to Sara) Fantaso. From the Greek which means 'to show'.
Sara: Exactly. We're here today to show our love. Because there's nothing better than sharing something you love... (The flash back of Sara dropping her ice cream plays again and continues on, showing Milo offering an extra spoon to Sara so that she can share his ice cream) ...with someone you love.
(The Dr Zone fans applaud)
Bertram: Can you guys wrap it up?
(They find that the trash can they'd jumped onto is actually Bertram's costume)
Sara: Oh sorry Bertram, I didn't see you there. Nice Trashcandroid costume.
Theatre Ticket Collector: Tickets please.
(Sara checks her pockets and flashes back to just before her speech)
Sara: "Hey. Now just wait a minute. (Sara placed the tickets and her hazard protection suit head gear on a stopped car that then drives away) Enough!"
(Sara realises what happened)
Sara: I lost the tickets while I was doing my inspirational speech.
(The other fans gasp collectively and then pass by while offering short phrases about her bad luck or with little care as they head into the movie without her)
Sara: It was all my fault. I was so worried about Murphy's Law messing things up...
Milo: maybe next time I just won't come.
Sara: I hate that idea.
Milo: I hate that idea too.
Sara: I've got enough excitement in my life anyway. After all, I saw a train come through our backyard.
Milo: But what about the movie?
Sara: Eh. Seeing a movie on opening day is overrated. (The pistachio stand falls from the sky and destroys the wall of the theatre just in front of them) Also clearly very dangerous.
(Milo gets out a mat and lays it down in the gap in the wall so they can watch the movie. Sara sits down on her backpack and Milo sits down on his a little way away from her.)
Milp: Just in case.
Sara: Nope. (Sara grabs his backpack and drags him next to her on the mat) Much better.
Dr Zone: Well Time Ape, once again we've had the time of our lives. After all, time is relative. (He and Time Ape produce the two halves of the ripped photograph. They then place them together, revealing a baby Dr Zone and baby Time Ape on the lap of their mom.) hmm.
Wally: They are brothers. She was right! Newbie!
Theatre: Newbie! Newbie! Newbie!
(Everyone in the theatre realises with surprise and confusion that the wall of the theatre is gone)