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Milo: So I opened the door to the arboreum and there they were! And I have no idea where the orangutan came from.
Zack: Yeah. I mean how far is the nearest zoo?
Milo: And why was he so set on getting my pistachios?
Melissa: It's the mysteries that make life worth living. At least that's what it says in my expensive book of mysteries.
Mrs Murawski: Alright class, today we are starting on a new Physics project. This will test everything you've learnt about gravity, inertia and weight distribution. All things I utilised in making this... beautiful desk... Solid oak. Took me the better part of 21 weeks... weeks of solitude. Just... me and... the wood. (Starts caressing her desk) (record scratch) (clears throat) uh, if you, if uh, if you work hard, some day you too may own a special desk. Not this one though, this one's mine. So, over the weekend you will be building a container, inside of which you will put an egg. Your grade will be based on only one criteria: When dropped from the roof of the school, will the egg break? An unbroken egg guarantees the team an A. All the others will be judged on how well they have applied the concepts we've been talking about in class. Now you'll all be breaking into teams of three. (everyone ducks behind their desk except for Milo, Zack and Melissa) So I guess you three will be a team then?
(The three look back at the empty class)
Melissa: Cowards!
Zack: Any limit on the number of eggs we break while we're building it?
Ms Murawski: No.
Zack: Ok then.
Bradley: You're sure you don't wanna join our team, Melissa? I named it Team Melissa. Not after you, different Melissa.
Melissa: No, I'm good.
Bradley: Really. You're going to jeopardize those straight A's? You know eggs can be rather fra-gile.
Melissa: Bring it on. I eat eggs for breakfast.
Bradley: Yeah. So do all of us.

Zack: Milo!
Milo: Coming.
Zack: I got eight dozen eggs. That should last us till... (Milo opens the door and slams a bag of eggs into the wall) Like I said, I've got four dozen eggs.
Melissa: Amateurs!
(Melissa arrives with a couple thousand eggs on a cart behind her bike)
Milo: Wow.
Zack: That's a lot of eggs.
Melissa: I've got a grade point average to protect.
Zack: You think that's maybe a little bit overkill?
(Milo's door falls off its hinges and crushes Zack's remaining bag of eggs. A light then falls on the door.)
Melissa: No, I do not think it is overkill.
Zack: Touché.
Milo: So, shall we get cracking?
Zack: That's eggxactl...
Melissa: No! No egg puns.

(Music Begins)
Milo: Whoa!!
You best be careful how you handle me
I'm not as sturdy as you think
You're too in touch with your adrenal gland, you see
I don't wanna be your weakest link
Hey, (Hey!) don't break me
Don't wanna crack in my precious side
Just keep your wild abandon to yourself
Hey (Hey!), don't break me
Don't wanna be your lightning rod
Like the view just fine here from the shelf
So, baby, please don't break me
(Hey!) (Hey!)
Please don't break me (Hey!)
Ha! (Hey!)
Please don't break me (Hey!)
Mmm

Zack: Did you just put an egg in your pocket?
Milo: Yeah.
Zack: Yeah that's not going to end well. (Their latest container starts to calmly hover) ahh?
(It flies into the air, hits a bird, hits the ground and explodes)

Melissa: Okay guys. We are going to crack this thing. And by that, I mean we are not going to crack this thing. (points at an egg on their drawing board) We have to build something that can withstand a two story drop, a wood door, a tree branch, a size eight and a half sneaker, Zack's butt...
Zack: Hey!
Melissa: ..a raccoon attack... It's all in here. We have to build something that will withstand not only one of these things but all of them simultaneously.
Milo: Well you know what they say: Whatever breaks our egg, only helps our egg dropping contraption utilize the force of gravity, inertia, and weight distribution better.
Melissa: That's the spirit.
Zack: Who says that?
(Their drawing board collapses and that egg breaks)

(17:22 hours and 10,132.05 eggs later)
Milo: Okay team. I give you version 87.3-9
Zack: I say we just call it Big Bertha.
Melissa:I'm not naming them anymore. I don't want to get attached.
Zack: Come here Diogee.
Milo: Here it goes.
Zack: Okay... looking good.
(Big Bertha lands. Zack walks towards it but gets pulled back)
Zack: Ugh!
Melissa: Wait... okay... I think.
(Melissa pushes Zack towards Big Bertha)
Zack: Yug!..
Milo: Well?
Zack: The egg is... completely intact. We did it!
Melissa: Wohoo!
Milo: I've gotta see this. I'll be right down.
(Milo accidentally pushes a plank of wood out of his tree house, Zack grabs Big Bertha and rolls out of the way as it crashes to the ground)
Zack: Wow wow. No. You stay right there, Milo. We still have to get this to class in one piece. I'll guard Big Bertha for the night. And Melissa you take home all the extra eggs.
Melissa: What extras? That was our last one.
Zack: Really? Well here then. Triple cooler it. And we better get out of here before anything else hap...
Martin: Wow wow wow. Look out. No brake. Wooow! En oof! Aaaaahhh hey kids!
Melissa: Hi Mr Murphy. We gotta go. Bye.
Milo: See ya tomorrow team.
Martin: Milo. Be a dear and get your dad his crutches.

Zack: Aaahhhh. Okay Big Bertha, time to get you to schoo... (A shelf has fallen on Big Bertha) *Gasp* Noooooooooo! (Zack wakes up) *Gasp* huh. Just a dream.

Melissa: Alright. Time to rise and *Gasp* (The egg's been crushed by a tree branch) Nooooooooooo! (Melissa wakes up) *Gasp* oh, it's just a dream.

Milo: *Gasp* (Everything is normal) Well. That is peculiar. (Milo wakes up) *Gasp* (A tree has fallen through his window) Yeah. That's more like it.

Zack: Melissa. Over here.
Melissa: How's Big Bertha doing?
Zack: Good so far. How's the egg?
Melissa: A-O-K.
Zack: Let's just get this thing to the classroom. 3 o'clock. (They dodge a water fountain leaking water everywhere. A nearby student slips) 10 o'clock. (They dodge a student sneezing on them) Actual clock. (They dodge an actual clock falling off the wall) He's already here, isn't he.
Melissa: How'd you guess.
Milo: Hey guys.
Melissa: Milo, I need to take the egg out. Do you mind?
Milo: No problem. I'll stand in the corner. I'm helping by not helping.
Melissa: Pilot egg is ready for drop off.
Milo: Wohoo! Oops! (Milo accidentally pulls over a skeleton, knocking a giant brain across the classroom) heads up.
(The brain sends the class scattering and just catches the egg in Melissa's hand, knocking it to the ground and breaking it)
Melissa: No. No no no no no no no no nooooo! That was our last one. Now we can't even compete.
Milo: I am so sorry Melissa. I don't know what to say. Oh wait a second. I forgot this one. (Milo produces the egg he put in his pocket)
Ms Murawski: Okay class, take your projects up to the roof while I monitor the drop zone ha ha haa *snort* aah, and send one of your team members down with me for clean up.
Melissa: I'll be on the ground crew. Good luck guys. And FYI, a tremendous portion of my self-esteem is wrapped up in my grade point average but, you know, no pressure.
Ms Murawski: You know, I made that pencil you're holding.
(Melissa glances at the pencil and edges out of the room)

Milo: I think this is taller than my tree house.
Zack: Look, with all our trials and errors, this baby can now handle anything.
Ms Murawski: Team one, you're up.
Zack: OK. Let's go down the check list one more time.
Ms. Murawski: You need to take into account acceleration speed.
Milo: Parachute?
Zack: Check, with 1.5 second deploy speed.
Milo: Shock absorbers?
Zack: Check. Compressed air plungers braced by interior bendy straws.
Ms Murawski: I can not emphasis weight distribution enough. Think of my desk. I know I am.
Milo: Roll cage. [...]
Zack: Check. Vacuum hose with closed foam cord.
Ms Murawski: And we have our first successful... oh, uh, yeah no. Get the mop over here.
Bradley: We'll show you how it's done.
Ms Murawski: Oh. Very nice. Just a hairline fracture. Bradley's team is the one to beat.
Bradley: Yeah! In. Your. Face. Other. People.
Mort: I'm on your team.
Milo: I hope it works. I don't want to let Melissa down.
Zack: Come on. How much can happen between here and the ground.
Ms Murawski: Milo, Zack, Melissa, you are the last ones to go.
Melissa: Come on. Hold together.
Zack: Okay. One. Two.
Zack and Milo: Three!
Melissa: Yes, yes, yes.
(A delivery truck hits Big Bertha before it reaches the ground)
Delivery Guy: Hey, is this the cafeteria service entrance.
Melissa: No, no, no!
Milo: Uh oh. Kick ball game.
Zack: Check, she can handle that.
Milo: Football skirmish [...]
Zack: (uh? Check, theoretically.
Milo: Polar Bear water tank?
Zack: What? Give me those. So that's where the zoo is.
Milo: Freeway?
Zack: Uuuh? Check.
Milo: Wind turbines?
Zack: Uuuhh? Check?
Milo: News copter.
Zack: Come on!
Melissa: Oh come on!
Diogee: *Bark*
Melissa: Not you Diogee.
Delivery Guy: Seriously, can someone help me out. I've gotta deliver all these eggs.
(Big Bertha crashes into the delivery truck and everyone except the polar bear gets covered in egg. But in the yolk covered wreckage of the truck the egg is revealed to have survived.)
Ms Murawski: We have a winner! Team Milo gets an A. You three did it. I'm so proud of you.
Milo: Now that's a grade A egg. (Diogee jumps up and eats the egg) Well, I guess the yolks on...
Melissa: I said no egg puns!

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