Truck Driver #1: Yeah, it's a truck load of ice cream. What's the worst that could happen?

Truck Driver #2: Yeah, cakes all loaded up. We'll be there. What's the worst that could happen?

Pilot: Yeah, we're loading the dynamite onto the plane now. What's the worst that could happen?

(Milo attempts to use a water fountain that knocks him over with a jet of water)
Milo: No problem. I've got a dry change of clothes in my locker. Yelp! (Milo slips in the water) See you in a bit.
(Milo walks off)
Melissa: So, tomorrow is Milo's birthday.
Zack: Is he having a party?
Melissa: Probably not. The last time he did, it did not end well.

(A flash back shows a fireman chasing a horse at Milo's house with all the emergency services parked outside)
Fireman: Wow there! Wow there! Wow! Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow!
(The house explodes with confetti as paramedics load a clown onto an ambulance)

Melissa: After that they only invite immediate family and... me.
Zack: Well that's sad. Doesn't he miss having a big birthday party?
(Melissa's phone rings and she opens a video chat)
Melissa: Hi Mrs Murphy.
Brigette: Hi honey. Uh, do you think we should invite Zack tomorrow, and if so does he have proper coverage?
Melissa: He's right here.
Zack: Hi Milo's mom. I overheard and I'm fully insured. Um, just a thought, but is it ok if we invite some kids from school? It could be a surprise.
Brigette: Hmm. Let's check with Martin. He's still at work. (Martin is added to the chat) Hi dear. Melissa and Zack were thinking of a surprise party for Milo tomorrow. How's our liability coverage?
Martin: Oh, better idea; not in our home. We could do it at the Play Park.
Zack: Yeah, the go cart track.
Martin: It'll be perfect. They already have all the party supplies, fire extinguishers, helmets, first aid kits.
Brigette: Plus, they're fully insured.
Melissa: So, we can invite people?
Brigette: Sure.
Zack: Great! Surprise party!
Martin: We'll have to keep him busy all afternoon so he doesn't suspect.
Melissa: We'll handle that. See you tomorrow. (Cracks appear around the water fountain and water starts spraying everywhere) That's weird, nobody pressed the button. (The water fountain falls off the wall and a water jet knocks over a student. Milo arrives shortly after in his usual clothes) Ooooh. Hey Milo.
Milo: Hey guys. (Milo closes the water pipe)
Melissa: Did you change?
Milo: Yeah, this one's all dry. I have like thirty of these.

(Melissa and Zack hand out invitations to other students)
Zack: *whispers* Surprise party for Milo.

Melissa: *whispers* Surprise party for Milo.

Zack: *whispers* Surprise party for Milo.

Zack: *whispers* Surprise party for Milo.
Melissa: *whispers* Surprise party for Milo.

Joni: Won't it be dangerous?
Zack: You're a hundred feet underwater right now, swimming with eels.
Joni: What's your point?

Melissa: So Mort, you coming to Milo's party?
Mort: As long as your dad's there. He's a paramedic, right?
Melissa: Right.

Zack: Surprise party for Milo?
Chad: I don't know. My risk tolerance only goes so high. Waaaaaahh! (Chad launches himself off a bungee jump platform)
Zack: We'll all be wearing helmets. It'll be fun.
Student #1: Ok, we're in. Waaaaahh! (The other students on the platform fall off)
Bungee Jump Supervisor: I like parties.
(Zack looks away awkwardly)

(Amanda is organising the yearbook)
Amanda: The boarder on this photo is a millimetre thicker on the left than on the right. You have a split infinitive in the caption. (She turns back to Melissa) I don't know Melissa. Things get sort of messy around Milo. You know how I like order.
Melissa: I understand Amanda. I'm trying to figure out the streamer situation. But I guess it doesn't matter if there's really a cohesive colour scheme, and the balloons and I'm ordering are all different sizes and shapes, but I can't imagine that it's going to be a problem really, you know?..
Amanda: Alright I'm organising! ...Cohesive colour scheme doesn't matter... Don't think I don't know what you just did.

(Milo's working on the roof of his house and Melissa approaches with her arm in a sling)
Melissa: Yo Milo, what up?
Milo: Hey Melissa. Just installed the new asteroid early warning system. Oh, what's with the arm?
Melissa: Sprained it. Problem is my dad has an important package to be picked up at the mall. I can't do it with this arm. (Puts on her doe eyes) I know it's your birthday and all but any chance you could pick it up and drop it off at this address?
Milo: Sure. Be happy to help. Think of all the times you helped me when I had a sprained arm, or leg, or... spleen, or tongue, or finger...
Melissa: Twice.
Milo: Or clavicle, or ribcage, or metatarsal...
Melissa: Thanks Milo.
Milo: No problem.
(Milo rides off and Zack emerges from the bushes)
Zack: Nice acting job.
Melissa: I had to bust out the doe eyes. (Does her doe eyes) Use only in case of emergency.
Zack: What if he shows up too early for the party?
Melissa: I’m way ahead of ya. Remember Elliot, the crossing guard. (rings her phone)

Elliot: Be sure to watch your step. And I mean that in two ways. I mean watch your step, and, watch your step. (His phone rings) Elliot here.
Melissa: Is this Elliot who monitors local safety violations.
Elliot: Well, 'safety first' is certainly one of my six safety related mottos.
Melissa: I’d like to report a violation. I just saw Milo Murphy’s bike and the back wheel is a definite safety hazard. It might fly off any second.
Elliot: You had me at Milo Murphy’s bike. (hangs up) You’re on my radar Milo Murphy. (looks at his radar) Oh wait, no. That’s a flock of birds. Wait, wait. There! Now you’re on my radar Milo Murphy. Stop! Milo.
Milo: Elliot. You might wanna duck.
Elliot: (Elliot ducks as he looks out for dangers) huh! Mm. Mm. Mm.
Milo: No. I.. I mean you might want this duck. (Milo produces a duck from his backpack) I found him wondering in traffic earlier and I… you know… I figured, with you being the crossing guard…
Elliot: Safety Tsar.
Milo: Safety Tsar. You might be able to get him somewhere safe.
Elliot: Well, there is a little pond right over there. (Elliot grabs the duck) Don’t move. Do not go anywhere. (Elliot slowly backs away and carefully puts the duck down while looking at Milo. The duck quacks at him aggressively and then proceeds to chase him around.) Ah! Waahh! Ah! Ah! Aaahaah! Oh! Aaahah! Aaah! Ah! Uuuuhhh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Wow! (Elliot falls into the pond and the duck pursues) Uh! Uh! Wa! Wuh! Aaah! Ah! Uh! (Elliot climbs out of the pond with the duck jumping on him) Ah! Ah! Aaaah! Da! Aaaah! Waaa! Aaaaahaah! Aaaaah! Aaahaaah! (The duck peacefully returns to the water and Elliot returns to Milo) I have reason to believe your vehicle might be unsafe. I’m going to have to inspect it.
Milo: Ok, but you might wanna duck first.
Elliot: Don’t be ridiculous. You couldn’t possibly have another duck back.. oof! (Elliot is stuck by a tire being carried by a helicopter)
Milo: No I meant because of the tire.
Elliot: Just for that, Murphy, you’re getting the full inspection.
Milo: Well, I did my own inspection this morning, but I guess you can never be too safe.
Elliot: Oh yes you can… not be too safe.
Milo: Do I have to remove my shoes?

Martin: This is perfect. The track makes everyone wear helmets and fireproof jumpsuits.
Brigette: Oh, great. For once we won’t look out of place.
(Some students arrive with more party supplies)
Martin: Ah, thanks for helping us set up guys. Time for our checklist. Fire return netting? Check. Radiation screens? Check. Glow in the dark t-shirts in case of power outage? Check. Let’s get to work.

Elliot: Alright Mr Murphy, you pass, barely.
Milo: Hey Cool. See ya.
Elliot: Straighten that helmet. I’ve got my super safety senses trained on you from now on. And I mean that in two ways! Actually, it’s just one. (The duck attacks him again) Yaaah!

Amanda: Your party planner has arrived with the bubble machine. Chaos is over. Order begins. You, […] every table. Colour code by age, gender and cake preference. You with the funny hair, these banners should be all five feet from the ground. You, nail bitter, make sure all the utensils are parallel to each other. Step to it people.
Martin: And we brought matrasses to hide under in case of falling debris.
Brigette: Plus we can rap ourselves in them for duck attacks.

(Milo arrives at the mall and gets handed a package at a window)
Milo: Wow, that was convenient. All malls should have drive through windows.
(Milo continues up a hill, dodging bins, ball bearings and slinkies)
Milo: Hmm. Kind of a light day.

Amanda: Ok everyone. Clear the perimeter. And Murphy’s Law countermeasures engaged.
(Sensors deploy around the perimeter. An alarm goes off)
Sara: He’s a block away, t minus twenty seconds. Roll in the decoy!
(Two students place a fake sign over Play Park’s actual sign and then dive into a nearby bush)
Student #2: I’m planning on staying in this bush the whole party. Amanda scares me.
Milo: Industrial industries. Serving the industrial needs of industry for over fifty years. This looks like the place.
(Milo enters and finds all his friends waiting for him)
Everyone: Happy Birthday Milo!
Student #3: I like cheering!
Milo: Wow you guys! A real birthday party?
Melissa: Got ya.
Milo: You used the doe eyes.
Zack: And they’ve got go carts! They're carts, that go!
(Everyone races to the go cart track)
Milo: This is great you guys. Let’s go!

Well I’ve
Got no time for trivial things
Gotta get up and get out into the world
Find a spot in the middle of kings
Gonna blow into the city in a whirl

I gotta go
Oh, I’m mister go
They call me mister go

(A loose screw from Milo’s go cart hits the helmet of Mort and distracts him long enough for him to lose control of his go cart. A wheel from his go cart breaks off and flies into the protective netting and is catapulted out of the Play Park. The wheel then knocks over Elliot)
Elliot: Aaaaahhh!

Oh, but you know I gotta go
Gotta get gone getty gone gone

(A billboard becomes loose and falls on the track, being propped up by the barrier. Milo, Zack and Melissa fly up it and out of the go cart track, landing on a table that launches Amanda’s bubble machine into the air.)
Milo: Did you see that? That was awesome!
Melissa: Uh oh. I think that was Amanda’s bubble machine.
Zack: And we have all of our limbs! Well, except for One-Arm Willie.
One-Arm Willie: It’s a nickname. I have both my arms. I am missing one leg though.

(The bubble machine lands on the highway)

(The students all chant for cake as they hold up plastic screens between them and Milo)
Students: Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
Zack: Milo and candles. Can’t be too careful.
Brigette: (To Martin) I’m afraid we have a problem dear. Diogee got into the cake and ice cream.
(A chubby Diogee among the remains of the cake and ice cream looks at them, full of guilt)
Brigette: Sorry Milo. The cake got ruined.
Milo: Though cake and ice cream would have been nice, I already got my wish. I had a birthday party and nothing went horribly wrong.

Pilot: Ooo Balloons!
(The Pilot accidentally leans on a lever opening the cargo bay door, and all the dynamite falls out of the plane)

Truck driver #1: Huh? Wohow. Yah! (The ice cream delivery truck gets blinded as it drives through the cloud of bubbles on the highway, swerving off the road and launching ice cream into the air)

Truck driver #2: Oh no, duck! Yea, ugh! (The cake delivery truck swerves to avoid a family of ducks crossing the road and stops on an unfinished overpass, launching cakes into the air)

(The dynamite, ice cream and cake all collide and create a large explosion right above Play Park. The students all look up in wonder.)
Milo: This is the best birthday ever!
(Everyone is quickly covered in falling ice cream and cake)
Milo: Ice cream and cake? Correction! This is better than the best birthday ever!
(Everyone cheers, but they are soon interrupted and run away screaming as the duck family attacks)
Martin: Quick, everyone rap yourselves in mattresses!

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